NEVER AGAIN

NOW 2007 I WAS SURE I WOULD NEVER DO ANOTHER TRIP AGAIN. YEAH LIKE THATS POSIBLE FOR ME TO STABLIZE. I MET MY GIRLFRIEND WHO IS ACTUALLY A CANCER SURVIVOR HERSELF. JUST TO LET YOU ALL KNOW IM NOT WITH HER NOW DUE TO MY OWN FAULTS, BUT LULU YOU WILL ALWAYS BE MY INSPIRATION AND MY HERO. AFTER EXPERIENCING MANY RELATIONSHIPS AND NOT BEING WITH YOU NOW, I CAN CONFIDENTLY SAY I LOVE YOU MORE THAN IVE EVER LOVED ANOTHER WOMAN. YOU WILL FOREVER BE MY ANGEL. I MISS YOU AND I WISH YOU KNEW. CAN YOU ONE DAY LOVE ME AGAIN? I WASNT ABLE TO KEEP HER IN MY LIFE DUE TO MY INSTABILITY. I SAY SHE WAS RIGHT AND IT WASNT FAIR TO ASK HER TO WAIT FOR ME JUST BECAUSE. I DO FEEL WE ALL HAVE OUR OWN PATHS TO FOLLOW. I JUST WISH THAT PATH INCLUDED HER. EVERYONE IN THEIR OWN TIME. I WAS SELFISH ASKING HER TO WAIT. I TOOK FOR GRANTED SHE WOULD ALWAYS BE THERE, AND NOW SHES NOT. I GUESS I GOT WHAT I DESERVED. MAYBE I SHOULD STOP WHIMPERING AND LISTEN TO OTHERS AND RELIZE LOVE(LUST) IS JUST A CHEMICAL REACTION OF EMOTIONS ATTACHED TO THE FEELINGS WE'RE ADDICTED TO. I GUESS THATS WHY I REFUSE TO HAVE ANOTHER WOMAN IN MY LIFE OR ALLOW ANY OF THEM TO GET TOO CLOSE TO ME PHYSICALLY OR EMOTIONALLY. I CANT GO ON KILLING MYSELF THOUGH. I HOPE I WILL MAKE SOMEONE HAPPY ONE DAY.